Category: Devotionals

Spinning My Tires

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Around and Around

It should have been a banner year. How many people get to be authors? And have an article published in a print magazine? And get to work at a job they love? How many parents see their children and grandchildren living solid lives of faith and hope?

  • This year I had the honor of working with my daughter Grace, who, by the way, is the best office assistant/publicist ever.
  • I had the joy of seeing our youngest son get his own place and grow in a job he loves.
  • I celebrated when our eldest granddaughter was accepted into the college of her choice.
  • I joined my beloved family for a nine-day trip to my favorite Pacific beach and attended my first Hot August Nights car show in my hometown.
  • My precious husband and I celebrated forty-two years of marriage with a two-day trip to the Big Town, where we got our Cabela’s fix and my husband finally bought a buffalo picture. He’s maintained for years that a log home needs a buffalo pic. I maintained otherwise. We finally agreed on one that would nicely grace the upstairs hall at the top of the stairs. At a vintage lamp shop downtown, I bought my first Quoizel Tiffany lamp, something I’d been coveting  for several years.
  • The ancient mint and green carpet in our house is giving way to a handsome porcelain slate tile that will hold up better to country living, wheels, and our son’s German Shepherd/cross dog.
  • I’ve been able to share our story and God’s comfort with others through my writing and speaking. My first book, Song in the Night, recently was re-released in e-book form. I’ve met and re-connected with many wonderful people and heard inspiring stories of faith across this country.
  • I even learned how to use Google+ Hangouts to make a video presentation at a virtual caregiving conference, no small feat for a sixty-year-old woman who still struggles with the t.v. remote.

Yes, 2014 should have been a great year. In fact, it has been. And for that I’m eternally grateful to my Savior.

So why did I lose steam mid-summer? Why did I feel like I was spinning my wheels?

Mostly, I think, it was because in the midst of everything else, I am, first, a caregiver. Everything that I do comes after and along with my caregiving duties. Simple things like a trip to town involve a a lot of work and planning.

Every step is hard work. Every victory comes with much warfare. The joys have been interwoven with sorrow.

We lost Aaron’s beloved mother in January; my dear uncle in July. Kevin had an infection and sternum injury in May. He received emergency care during our coastal trip and again back at home. My father endured a hard winter of medical struggles. Then I suffered a severe lumbar strain and was completely out of commission for a few weeks. The family had to take up the slack in the daily chores.

It was during that time down in bed that I finally could stop. The enforced rest gave me a chance to re-think what I’ve been doing and what I want to achieve. One thing I know for sure:

I never want to be spinning my wheels on this journey. I want to listen carefully to God and only go where He guides. That may not mean a smoother ride. In fact, that may only increase the warfare in my soul and on the home front.  The road to Zion is narrow and often filled with detours. I’m thankful to be on this trip, though. My destination is assured; a room in God’s mansion is already reserved for me heaven. It’s just a matter of staying on course, listening for God’s guidance, and remembering to enjoy the view along the way.

I will not spin my tires.
I will not spin my tires.
I will not spin my tires.

Photo courtesy Kevin Thorson/copyright 2014

The Nurse Who Remembered

 

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This post is part of the #Blog4Care blog carnival being hosted by Caring Across Generations. We’re hoping that by sharing our caregiving stories, we can begin to come up with solutions to the care crisis that is affecting millions of Americans. 

Nursing carries heavy responsibilities. It requires long days, longer nights, and impossible schedules. In celebration of one of my favorite nurses, I’ve reprinted an except of our story from my first book, Song in the Night. The nurse’s name has been changed, but everything else is as it happened in the summer of 1997.

More than just a nurse…

One nurse in particular that we loved was named Mandy. She was slender and petite, with lovely dark hair and makeup that was always perfect. She had an exotic air and a husband who was a businessman in Africa. She always seemed to know what to do and did it expertly. Kevin said that she did the best job of suctioning the secretions out of his lungs of anyone on the floor, so I watched her carefully and had her teach us her own technique.

One day in particular, things were very trying. Kevin was still stick, and I just had to go run a quick errand. There was no other family member to stay with Kevin while I was gone, and Kevin kept begging me not to leave him. Mandy saw my dilemma and offered to sit with Kevin until I came back.

Thankfully, I took her offer and rushed out. I knew she was busy, and Kevin wasn’t the only patient that needed her. So I hurried as fast I could and breathlessly returned to find her sitting peacefully at his bedside, chatting amiably with Kevin as she gave him a manicure.

A warm rush of gratitude flowed over me. She could not have realized how little of our human dignity was left after these long weeks. The harsh environment of living in the world of the near-dead had ground us far into the dust. Although people around us had been so good to us, and most of the medical people tried, the very nature of the situation was immensely dehumanizing. We existed on little food, sleep, or comfort. Rehab schedules did not allow time for living. Whoever was staying with Kevin slept on a big chair that folded out into a small bed that was in his room. We often slept and lived in the same clothes. Our world revolved around learning a myriad of medical procedures, basic caregiving, and getting Kevin through another day.

There wasn’t time to truly grieve, to hurt, to process what was happening, or even to feel. We were often treated like machines, pushed and prodded and educated in things we neither envisioned nor wanted to learn. There were days Aaron and I didn’t know who was taking care of our youngest daughter or even where she was. That haunted me, and it caused recurring nightmares in which I had lost her. For a while, she bounced between friends and family. At fifteen, Daniel was learning physical therapy techniques and sitting long hours with his brother. Erik worked full-time down in Lewiston and drove the 100 miles to Spokane every weekend to be with us.

More than “the C2” in Room 210…

I understand that by necessity, the medical world is run by schedules and operates under financial limitations. Faced with the politics of medicine, it’s easy to reduce a patient to “the C2” in Room 210 or “the gallbladder” on the fourth floor.

But Mandy had remembered that we were more. She remembered that we were people – hurting, frightened, and overwhelmed. And she cared enough to stop and give us the help we really needed.

~ Pam Thorson

God IS in Control

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 God…is the blessed controller of all things. 1 Timothy 6:15 (Phillips)

God IS in Control

What a year it has been already! There have been some sad events: burying my mother-in-law, watching my father suffer through a serious infection. There has also been a rumbling in our lives as the stone has been rolled away from the tomb of some long-standing dreams. I can’t share the details, but I have witnessed enough miracles in the last month alone to move me to tears and remind me that God is a God of wonders.

When He closes a door, it’s closed. Solid. No amount of moving or praying can budge it.

When He opens a door, it’s flung wide to let in the fresh air of hope.

Whatever’s going on in your lives, rest in the trust that God does hear your prayers. And He really cares about you. As I’ve shared in the last couple of weeks in recent devotionals When Dead Men Speak and Beyond the Grave at CMADDICT.com, God moves in sovereign and powerful ways far beyond our ability to imagine.

Events of these last weeks have encouraged me to step out more boldly in His steps. It’s a fearsome thing to follow behind the Savior, knowing all He gave up to answer His Father’s call. But it’s more frightening to remain in the shadows of my faith, where fear rules the night.

Come with me, my friends. Let’s push aside the stumbling blocks that have kept us from being all God has called us to be. We can serve with joy, knowing our struggles are not in vain. He is still “the blessed Controller of all things.”

Do you know someone who takes care of a loved one?

Can you imagine how hard it is for them to make it through another day?

You can help! I still need people to join my team for the launch of my new book, Out from the Shadows: 31 Devotions for Weary Caregivers. You don’t need special skills or a great social media following to help. Just read my previous post (click here) and pick 5 ideas there or send me 5 of your own ideas and you’re on the team. There will be a drawing for a Kindle Paperwhite e-reader in March for those who become team members. E-mail me at thesong2008@live.com and put “Influencer Request” in the subject line. Thanks!

Know What You Believe…and Why

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A fossil was recently found in Gilboa, New York, in sedimentary rock that supposedly dated back 380 million years. It was the fossil of a spider. What was this spider doing? Nothing new. It was making a web, just like modern spiders.

Ever wonder why a spider doesn’t get caught in its own web? It’s because each silk gland has a specific purpose. They have one to four pairs of spinnerets in their abdomens, along with seven silk glands connected to dozens of tiny tubes. Each gland secretes a substance that begins as a liquid but hardens in the air. The silk thread it produces is fine enough to make bomb sights but as strong as steel.*

If the spider evolved over millions of years, how did it and its young survive without dying in its own web until it evolved the correct glands?

This is just one of the many questions scientists have yet to answer as we explore Earth’s beginnings. The more we study nature, the more complex our world appears. It is not a random collection of organic and inorganic mass. Everything has a purpose. Every species has an unseen boundary built into. Bears always produce more bears. Spiders stay spiders. Nature seems to know its place and thrives there.

Is this chance?

I’m not convinced. If just once, a pack of wolves would have a video conference, a bear would become a beekeeper, or a roomful of monkeys could type a book in a million years, I might be swayed. If just once, a sealed can of peaches produced even a molecule of a new life form (the unsealed stuff in my fridge doesn’t count), you might have me.

But don’t show me a moth that changed its color or a snake with two heads.

Show me a Norwegian that is evolving a fur coat. Show me a youth pastor that is growing a guitar on his chest. I want to talk to a lizard that decided to improve his mind or a teacher with a finger that oozes red ink for correcting papers.

I want to see random processes produce order.

Let’s see mutations make something without using God’s dirt and God’s laws of nature. If you’re going to take God out of the picture, be fair and start from scratch, like He did.

Both evolutionists and creationists believe that all things came from nothing. The Bible tells us that He spoke the universe into being by the power of His word alone. Evolutionists believe that nothing somehow sparked a life form. Some folks believe God started the process and let evolution take over.

What do you believe? Why do you believe it?

Tonight Bill Nye “the science guy” and Ken Ham of the Creation Museum of Petersburg, Kentucky, will publicly debate the tenets of both theories. NPR has announced the debate, along with competing videos from the two men http://n.pr/1frnFz5. The debate begins at 7:00p.m. EST.

Here’s the link to watch it free online: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6kgvhG3AkI

Know what you believe. Listen and weigh the evidence from both sides. The truth will always withstand scrutiny.

 

*From “Origins Issues” by Frank Sherwin, Acts & Facts, vol. 35, #5

The Perfect Gift

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Hallelujah!
For the Lord our God, the Almighty, reigns.
-Revelation 19:6

It’s another Christmas Eve.

The tree sits in multicolored splendor in our living room, guarding the presents lovingly set under its branches in readiness for tomorrow’s festivities. It’s not quite ready, though. I still have one more run to town to run that last errand. There’s also one more gift I’m mulling over today as I sit here with you.

What do I give a king?

Kings must be the hardest people to buy for. They can have whatever they want. A person who possesses enough money and power can get pretty much all his needs and wants satisfied. He can even buy the feigned loyalty of those around him. There’s only one thing a king can’t buy:

Love.

Oh, he can get affection. He can get “like.” But I’m talking about passionate love, the head-over-heels adoration that sees no fault in its beloved; a love that gives sacrificially and completely and with a full heart.

A love like God’s.

This season commemorates Love Incarnate, the total giving of God’s best and highest and most adored treasure: His own Son. In this Son, He didn’t give us a half-hearted gift. He bestowed upon us – the undeserving and uncaring – the most valuable thing He had to offer:

Eternal life.

Not just in eternity. Life now, on this earth, every day.

What a gift! What a God! What awe it should inspire in us every moment of every day!

What do we dwell on?

Humans have a bad habit of minimizing the good others do for us while inflating perceived wounds. In the course of a normal day, which event are we more likely to replay over and over in our minds, the kindness from another, or an insult?

We especially do this with God. Most of us awaken each morning (Miracle #1) in a warm bed (Miracle #2) and never even once remember to be grateful for each gift of life, health, and provision God gives us. Day in and day out, we accept these gifts without so much as a simple “Thank you.”

Forget the love.

But let something go wrong. What is our first reaction? If we’re honest, we’ll admit our first thought is usually to shake our fist at heaven and shout, “Why me, God?” Did we arise that morning and raise our hands to heaven and shout with equal fervor, “You are so good to me, God!“? It’s easy to take for granted that which hasn’t cost us anything. Until we hurt. Then we miss what we didn’t realize we had.

This Christmas, the King asks for only one gift. It won’t cost much. But it must be extravagant.

Give Him your heart.

Always Living

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For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword,
and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow,
and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.
-Hebrews 4:12

It had been a rough morning, the crown to a rugged week. I was feeling pretty down when I arrived at church Sunday morning. I reflected back on the events of the last couple of months. There were times when the effort of living for Christ seemed futile.

I didn’t really believe that. I just felt that way. Tired. Discouraged. Insignificant against the battle that waged around me in a world determined to dig its way to hell.

Spinning my wheels.

Then the music started. I stood with the others as the worship team ushered the church into the presence of God. I halfheartedly joined in. Midway through the first song, the ice in my soul began to melt.

The pastor stepped onto the podium and opened God’s Word. From it flowed a message that has changed my life. It was the exact message I needed for that day and that moment, preached from just three verses in Luke.

Tears welled up in my eyes and threatened to escape down my face. I wished I wasn’t in the presence of so many other people. It didn’t feel right to be sitting at such a moment. I wanted to kneel. Or get on my face. God’s Word pulled me out of my self and into a place of grateful worship.

I have been a Christian for nearly forty years. I have read the Bible through many times and studied it for decades. And yet, on Sunday morning, I heard something new and radically empowering from three simple verses.

That’s what I love about the Bible. It isn’t just a book. It’s even more than a good book. It’s a living organism. Like the Creator from which it sprang, God’s Word is infused with supernatural power that breathes out the golden air of heaven.

It speaks. It speaks at the right moment, to our exact need. In His Word, God comes to us as the Healer, the Comforter, the Teacher, the Absolute Authority.

He wants to speak to you.

This Christmas, make the holidays holy days. Resist the temptation to push aside reading God’s Word and fellowship with others as those shopping days before Christmas get shorter and shorter. Take nothing for granted and set aside time to let God communicate with you. He has something important to say.

And it’s His birthday, after all.

 

photo courtesy Erik Thorson/2013

What Is Your Calling?

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Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?”
Then I said, “Here am I. Send me!” -Isaiah 6:8

He came to earth for one reason: to complete the work given Him by His Father. For that work He sacrificed a normal existence, His own human longings, and eventually His life. He suffered daily agony. He died completely alone, forsaken even by the Father He came to serve.

It was His calling.

As we indulge in the season’s festivities, may we never lose sight of the very large footprints in which we follow. Over the ages we have added a lot of glitter and shine to a work of God that was bloody and cold.

Birth is messy. Stables are messy. Dying is messy.

The Savior walked a path filled with danger and hardship. He didn’t have to. But He did, for a world that didn’t even care.

As the year draws to a close, where are you in service to your King? Are you confused because you aren’t sure what you’re supposed to be doing for God? Are you discouraged because your efforts to serve Him seem to have little impact on those around you?

Is the messiness of life too distracting?

He is calling you today, in the midst of the clamor. He wants to speak to you right now. In fact, He is waiting for you.

Go to His Word. Close the door on the world and open up the Bible. You will find the words you need for this hour. If you need encouragement, it is there. If you’re looking for direction, you’ll find it. If you’re hungry for fresh inspiration, He has it.

Wait for Him. Breathe in His life. Don’t move until you see the next step in front of you. Listen for the call. It will come.

May your response be, “Here am I. Send me!”

An Idaho Christmas

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Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.
-Colossians 3:15

Hello, Christmas…

Another Idaho winter has descended upon us.

In my neck of the woods, that means a little snow and a lot of gray days. But leave the river valley in any direction, and you’ll soon be skating on icy roads and snow. On the weekends it also means the occasional pop of birdshot as a Duck Dynasty wannabe wanders around the river road below us looking for an easy dinner.

It’s unnerving to look out the window and see a gun pointed my way.

Ah.

Christmas in Idaho.

It’s five days after Thanksgiving, and I’m feeling inadequate as my exuberant Facebook friends display their freshly decorated trees and trade Christmas recipes online.  In our log cabin, the only hints that Christmas is coming are a lovely poinsettia from my daughter-law, one Christmas card, and the meager pile of unwrapped presents I’ve bought for the annual family celebration.

My husband has hopefully set the decorations out in his shop in what may be a hint. I have yet to even venture out to take a look at them. I usually love Christmas, but this one has been dampened by the suffering of someone I love.

I worry. I fret. I give in to the  gloom.

Then I remember.

This is why He came.

Let heaven and nature sing!

Two thousand years ago, the world was much the same. Except it was a world without hope. This Christmas, we can be ruled by the Christ of peace, the Lord who delivered us from the futility of a life without Him.

In Jesus, Christmas dissolves into Thanks Giving and every day is a celebration. Our hearts are no longer controlled by either minor daily irritations or devastating loss. Until the day we see the magnitude of His victory, we ride out the highs and lows and choose to rejoice.

He rules the earth. Let heaven and nature sing: Joy to the world.

Maybe I should take a look at those decorations.

What’s He Here For?

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In the last two weeks we have looked at the person we call the Holy Spirit. I love talking about God, but I’m especially intrigued with the third person of the Trinity.

The three persons of the Trinity are enigmatic, cloaked in a mantle of mystery slowly pulled back through the ages to reveal the face of God. When we learn about Father God, we incorporate what we know about Him from our experiences with out earthly fathers. His Son, Jesus Christ, is the central figure of the gospels, painting a vivid picture of the Deliverer.

The Spirit, on the other hand, often remains in the background. Though equal in power to the others, He points humanity upward to them instead of drawing attention to Himself.  In a world clamoring “Look at me! Look at me,” He always inspires us to look heavenward.

The fact that He consents to live inside the cracked clay we call home never ceases to amaze me.

How do we wrap our minds around a Being who can be everywhere at once, whose power caused the universe to spring to life, who brought back the Savior Himself from the dead? How do we live with such a Being inside us? It’s a story more radical than anything dreamt up by Hollywood.

God in You, the Hope of Glory

In His person, the Holy Spirit is totally God. In His work and form, He functions as the “breath” of God. As such, He has a vital job to accomplish on earth:

  • He convicts us of sin. John 16:8

Before we can come to Him, we first must realize our need. It is the Spirit’s job to make us understand how we’ve sinned against God and our need of a Deliverer. He’s the one who makes us feel guilty when we’ve done wrong.

  • He frees us. 2 Corinthians 3:17

The Spirit is the One who breaks the chains of sin and walks us into liberty.

  • He sanctifies and sets us apart as His own. 1 Peter 1:2

When we accept our need for God and receive the cleansing sacrifice made by Jesus, the Holy Spirit comes to live in our bodies. His indwelling sets us apart as His own and begins the lifelong process of preparing us for eternity.

  • He transforms us. 2 Corinthians 3:18

When we become His, we are changed by the force of the same creative power that brought the universe into being.

  • He intercedes for us. Romans 8:26

In our weakness, we often don’t even know ourselves how to pray for what we need. The Spirit steps in, bringing us to the throne of God. Romans 8:26 is often used for speaking in tongues, but the Scripture says that this intercession is “too deep for words.” It is the place where our spirit connects with His in a cry for help.

  • He rebukes those who mock Him. Acts 5:9-11

The Spirit upholds the holiness of the Lord. He will not be mocked and must be treated with respect.

  • He empowers us for His work. John 7:37-38; 16:7; 1 Corinthians 2:3-5; Galatians 5:25

We can’t live a holy life on our own. Our best intentions and efforts can’t come close to pleasing God. We fall on our face every time. It’s His power that accomplishes what we can only long for without Him.

  • He directs us and gives us joy in the journey. Matthew 4:1; John 16:13; Luke 10:21; Acts 16:7

It’s not just about getting through this life. Jesus promised us abundance. When His Spirit is free to work within us, He fill us with joy. This is the incomprehensible place of peace Jesus’ disciples encounter through the darkest days of their lives. It rises above trials and smiles at the future.

  • He provides for our every need. Philippians 1:29

He is the great provider. In His care, every need we have will be met.

  • He reveals the future when necessary. Luke 2:26; Acts 1:16

Because He is all-knowing, nothing surprises Him. When it is necessary, He will reveal to His people future events. Usually, though, He counts on us to trust Him for our future.

This exquisite being, who dwelt in eternity in the highest heaven, has consented – even yearned- to live with us in our frail homes of flesh. He longs to be our protector and Lord. Only a mighty God could be powerful enough to be so tender, or strong enough to live with such weakness.

No wonder they call Him the Comforter.

 

Baptism photo courtesy Erik Thorson/ copyright 2013

Breath of God

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The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it,

but do not know where it comes from and where it is going;

so is everyone who is born of the Spirit.

– John 3:8

This is the air I breathe,
This is the air I breathe,
Your Holy Presence, living in me.
-Marie Barnett

Sunday morning arrives in fine form. I’m in fine form, too. Dressed in my best Sunday clothes, I negotiate the thirty-minute drive to church with my favorite Christian band belting out “I’m awake, I’m alive” over the car speakers.

I slip into my usual spot near the back of the church and am soon joined by dear friends. The worship team begins to play and my heart leaps to the music. Joy infuses me as I give myself to join the voices raised to our Creator. Soon, the pastor challenges the congregation with a message from the Bible. I can feel God moving my heart in renewal. I know the Holy Spirit is there.

It wasn’t long ago I was in a different place as events beyond my control sucked the life out of me. I was frustrated and took it out on those around me. I wasn’t feeling holy or calm or civil. I longed for the comfort of the Spirit, but I couldn’t feel Him near.

Had I angered Him and made Him leave me? Was He powerless, busy, or uninterested? Or had He just deserted me?

Who Is the Holy Stranger Who Lives in Us?

The Holy Spirit is probably the least understood of that Godhead we call the Trinity.  Sometimes He is referred to as a force, a fad, or an “it.” And yet the Scriptures reveal a wealth of information about Him.

The Greek term for the Spirit of God is pneuma, or “breath.” He is, however, anything but a mere stirring of air. The Bible describes Him as a powerful and pure personality. Within these verses, we discover this about Him:

  • He is a real person, referred to by such pronouns as “He,” “Whom,” and “Who.”

Luke 4:18; John 7:39; 15:26; 16:7-14; Acts 5:3; Ephesians 1:13-14

  • He is the vital third Person of the Triune God.

Matthew 12:31-32; 28:19; Mark 3:29; Acts 5:3,4; 1 Corinthians 2:11

  • He is eternal and glorious.

Hebrews 9:14; 1 Peter 4:14

  • He speaks to and through mankind.

Matthew 10:20; Mark 13:11; John 16:13; Acts 4:25; 13:2; 20:23; 21:11; 28:25; Hebrews 3:7; 10:15; Revelation 2:7

  • He is the Lifegiver.

Matthew 1:18; John 3:8; Romans 8:11

  • He is our helper and teacher.

John 14:26; 15:26; Hebrews 9:8

  • He can be grieved.

Ephesians 4:30

The Holy Spirit is not a thing. He is someone who can speak, be lied to, is grieved. He feels deep pain, great joy, and intense concern for us. He loves us enough to live with our mercurial human emotions. He cares enough to stay with us through the hopeless nights. He is sealed in His believers – for better or for worse.

What kind of a God leaves a throne to live in a clay house? What does He hope to accomplish by being here on earth?

Next Tuesday: What’s He Here For?

photo courtesy Erik Thorson/copyright 2013

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