Tag: devotional

Every Life Matters

Charlie Gard: The Conscience of a Nation

He lies in a hospital room, his little eyes mostly closed. Although he is nearly a year old, he seems so small. Like millions of others, I only know Charlie because his picture and story have been in the news recently.

The first thing that catches my eye in his pictures isn’t the tubes attached to the ventilator keeping him alive.

I’m used to ventilators. My son Kevin has been on one since a fall in 1997 paralyzed him from the neck down. He has since weaned off the ventilator during the days, and only goes back on to sleep at night. For our family, the ventilator is well-named: life support. We are grateful for life support because it has given Kevin a chance to live.

The first thing I notice about Charlie is his beautiful face. His long eyelashes brush his cheeks. His wisp of hair is carefully combed. Stuffed animals have been tucked around him. He is obviously well-loved.

Charlie Gard was born to Chris Gard and Connie Yates of London, England, on August 4, 2016. He began to decline shortly after birth, and eight weeks later his parents took him to the hospital. It was discovered that their son suffers from a rare and terminal disease called mitochondrial depletion syndrome. He is one of only sixteen known cases of the disease worldwide. It has left him with brain damage and progressive weakness. He now requires life support.

Through aggressive research, Charlie’s parents have discovered an experimental drug that has not yet been used to fight MDS, but has helped some children with a related syndrome called TK2. This treatment is not available in the United Kingdom but is available in the United States. A fundraising effort has raised more than a million dollars for his treatments, care, and travel.

But there’s a hitch in their hope.

The Great Ormond Street Hospital, where Charlie lies, wants control over when and how he should die. The doctors there have decided to turn off Charlie’s ventilator. They have denied the family’s right to either transfer him to a hospital in the United States willing to treat him or to take him home to die.

In June of this year, the case was appealed to the authority known as, ironically, The European Court of Human Rights. The high court ruled against Charlie’s parents and in favor of the hospital’s case to remove Charlie from life support and prevent his parents from seeking experimental treatment for their son outside the United Kingdom.

His parents have fought hard to help Charlie keep fighting for life.

“If he’s still fighting, we’re still fighting,” says his father, Chris Gard.

These words ignite my heart, because Charlie Gard could have been my son. Kevin did not have the rare disease with which Charlie was born. But we have faced some of the same crucial life issues that surround this little boy since Kevin’s fall in July of 1997, during a teen mission’s trip to Canada.

When Kevin broke his neck in Lethbridge, Alberta, he was airlifted to a larger hospital in Calgary that was better equipped to treat spinal cord injuries. When we learned that he had been injured, we made the twelve-hour-drive through the night from Idaho to Calgary to join him there.

Upon our arrival, we learned the awful news that Kevin was paralyzed from the neck down and on life support. The doctors at the initial consultations gave us little hope for his survival and virtually no hope for his recovery. One doctor was adamant that Kevin could not live. When I realized he was talking about euthanizing Kevin, I rebelled with all my strength.

No one had asked our son if he wanted to live. We would not make him die.

Through a series of events I can only describe as a miracle, Kevin not only came home to live after seven weeks in hospitals and rehab, he gained back more than the doctors could have guessed. He has lived at home with his family for twenty years and accomplished much in that time. We are thankful for every day we have had with him.

Through Kevin’s injury and recovery, we have learned several important lessons:

  • Doctors can be wrong.

Had we listened to the medical advice we were given, Kevin would be dead. The doctor who gave us no hope and tried to force his viewpoint on us was wrong. Kevin did improve and has lived a useful life.

  • It is not up to others to decide which lives should be saved.

We’ve had the joy of seeing God intervene in Kevin’s case and restore much to him. But we would have fought just as hard for him had he never regained any feeling or function.  Once society begins to set a standard for humans to fulfill to be allowed to live, we are no better than Nazis. Because organs and medical treatment are at a premium, life has become a commodity to be doled to the most deserving.

When medical personnel make decisions based on the profit margin and a person’s perceived worth to society, a nation has lost its soul.

  • The term “death with dignity” is subjective.

Who gets to decide what constitutes dying with dignity? As a matter of fact, what constitutes living with dignity? When my mother was disabled by a series of strokes, there came a time that she developed pneumonia. The doctor decided not to treat her because, in his words, “Her life is useless.” He was going to let her die crying in a bed because he had made a judgment call about her worth. How dignified was that?

We insisted that he treat her. She recovered from the pneumonia and died some time later, peacefully, at God’s timing and with her family present. Her death, when it happened without duress, was more dignified than being forced to die at the doctor’s convenience.

  •  Parents should have the right to fight for their children.

In most cases, no one is going to care more for a child than his parents. It is their God-given duty to protect their child. A truly caring health care professional considers the well-being of the entire family. What could it hurt to allow them to love their little boy for as long as possible, and let God take him home?

  • If we don’t fight for the life of others, we will all become Charlie Gard.

Once life becomes worthless, once we have allocated to others the power to give and take the life of another human being, we are all at risk. Who knows when the standard will change again, and your life no longer rises to the new level of worthiness?

Today there are protests in the streets over the G-20 summit. In ten years no one will remember the G-20 summit. But who will fight for the Charlie Gards of the world?

Who will fight for the soul of the nations?

 

UPDATE: In the face of mounting international pressure, the Great Ormond Street Hospital has postponed removing Charlie’s life support for now. The hospital and parents will return to the European court to seek permission allowing Charlie and his parents to travel to the United States for his treatment.

The Vatican hospital, Bambino Jesus pediatric hospital in Rome, and the New York Presbyterian Hospital and Columbia University Irving Medical Center have offered to accept Charlie for treatment. New York Presbyterian Hospital has also offered to ship the experimental drug to the Great Ormond Street Hospital and provide advice on its administration if needed.

Both President Trump and Pope Francis have weighed in on the matter in Charlie’s favor.

 

 

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CaregivingEvery Life Matters

Threads

“For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb.”                                                                                                                                            – Psalm 139:13

My bones were not hidden from you when I was being made in secret, when I was being skillfully woven in an underground workshop

 -Psalm 139:15 (GOD’S WORD Translation)

You’re Complicated.

You probably guessed that. You may have even been told that a few times by a frustrated friend, co-worker, or family member. You may not have realized, though, just how complex you really are.

According to National Geographic, the average human body contains thirty trillion cells. 1. Each individual genome, or set of instructions for the development and operation of one person, contains approximately three billion base pairs of the chemical code that comprise our DNA, attached to twenty-three pairs of chromosomes. 2. This chemical code determines our sex, what we will look like, and much more. That’s why it’s called the master blueprint of the body. 3.

There is, in fact, nothing simple about the “simple cell.” Each individual cell in your body is a finely-tuned factory working closely with the other cells of the body to sustain your life. You are not generally aware of the incredible processes of the systems keeping you alive, but you know when something isn’t working correctly. The body strives to stay at a pre-set “normal,” a state known as homeostasis, and even a small change in those processes can threaten your health or your life.

All that, and you’re just one person.

On a planet filled with over seven billion people, it’s easy to feel inconsequential. It’s even easier to see others as inconsequential, especially if their lives don’t meet society’s expectations or they become inconvenient. The aged, the weak, the disabled, the unplanned, seem expendable from that perspective. What’s one damaged life out of so many?

What’s one broken thread in the fabric of God’s plan for mankind?

Only everything. Just as every thread is needed to complete a work of art by a master weaver, so every life holds an important place in His plan for the world that is and the world to come.

Complexity points to a designer. A piece of art proves the existence of an artist. We all know that an intricately woven fabric is not made by dumping a bunch of thread on a loom. Someone must create it.

You are part of a grand design.

You and I are living threads in the hands of a Creator immense in power, limitless in imagination, and exquisite in the care with which He fashions His world. The skill with which He wove you in the womb, in all its unfathomable precision, pales beside the magnitude of the loom upon which He crafts history’s story. Not only are you a vital part of that plan, so is every other human. Our job is not to decide the value of others on this earth, but to respect every person’s value before God. Only He knows which threads will display the bold, royal colors of the kingdom, and which will carry the softer shades of grace. All are needed to complete the heavenly canvas upon which His story is revealed.

You matter. So does the homeless man on the corner, the baby with Down’s Syndrome, and the elderly woman with Alzheimer’s. May God forgive us for thinking we can choose the design for Him, for believing we know best.

 

1.http://news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/01/160111-microbiome-estimate-count-ratio-human-health-science/

2.https://www.genome.gov/11006943/human-genome-project-completion-frequently-asked-questions/

3.http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/cellular-microscopic/dna5.htm

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CaregivingEvery Life Matters

The House That Grace Built

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In a day, our world changed forever.

It was nineteen years ago this month that our son Kevin broke his neck in a fall and sustained a devastating spinal cord injury. It’s one of those anniversaries that are bittersweet. So much is so good in our lives. And yet, the loss is there every day.

I nearly forgot the day this year – a testament, I guess, to the fact that we’ve moved on in many ways. Kevin is still mostly disabled, and yet he still continues to make new gains when we least expect it. We’re still mostly caregivers. And yet, I love and appreciate life more than ever.

It’s strange and wonderful how we need both darkness and light to grow.

The end of last year began a new season for us as a family. A series of events have unfolded in a phenomenon that has, in rapid succession, answered several of my most desperate and long-standing prayers for my children and grandchildren. You know, those “the stone will have to roll away from the tomb” prayers, breathed so often I feared that I might irritate God with their frequency. They were the prayers carried in the night with a heavy heart and many tears before heaven. The ones that spring automatically to mind. You know.

Those prayers.

I prayed them for years without answers.

Then, without warning, a door opened. Then another, and another.

In August of last year, our youngest daughter Grace began a good job locally. Prayer answered.

In November of last year, we received the news that our son Erik and daughter-in-law Rachel were expecting for the first time after being told that would probably never happen. We welcomed our first grandson into the world in May of this year. Prayer answered.

In May of this year, our youngest son Daniel announced his engagement to a wonderful woman named Jenna. Prayer answered.

In June of this year, our eldest granddaughter Rebekah graduated from homeschool and was immediately accepted into the university of her choice. Her parents, our eldest daughter Jennifer and husband Scott, had sacrificed for many years and throughout many trials to educate their daughters. Rebekah is the second-generation to graduate from homeschool in our family. Prayer answered.

Their youngest daughter, Vanessa, will begin her first year of college level work as she finishes her last years in homeschool. Prayer answered.

This August, our son-in-law finally begins to see his long-standing dream of teaching become a reality. Prayer answered.

This summer, Kevin has been able, for the first time, to sit unassisted for nearly an hour at the side of his bed. This, from a man who was never supposed to move again. Ever. This, from a man who was thought – by some in the medical profession – to be better off dead. This, after nearly two decades of disability. Prayer answered.

Aaron and I continue to have the health we need to be caregivers and walk Kevin’s journey with him. Nineteen years ago, we were told it would be impossible for us to care for him at home. We live the impossible every day with him.

Prayer answered.

Living in Graceland.

A friend once told me that her daughter, who liked to come to our place and see Grace, used to call our place “Graceland.” We chuckle at the ironic designation. It seems fitting, though, because we are the house that grace built. This anniversary of Kevin’s accident is our reminder that God is always at work. Prayer is crucial, and He is never irritated that we bring our heartaches and hopes to Him.

If you’re facing impossible odds today, if darkness is all around you, lift up your head. God still answers prayer. He loves you, and He is at work in your life.

You are the house that grace built.

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CaregivingEvery Life MattersSong in the Night

What One “Useless Life” Taught Me

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Just an old woman.

She lay against the stark white sheets of the gurney, her face gray and her hands bent awkwardly inward. A series of strokes had long-silenced her lilting Southern twang, and she communicated much as an infant, her cries and grunts only distinguishable to the initiated. At the sight of me, her face contorted in a pathetic wail, brownish-red drool drizzling from one corner of her mouth.

“Pneumonia,” someone at the nursing had said two hours earlier, when they first called to tell me that they were sending my mother to the hospital. I had quickly arranged my schedule to meet her at the emergency room when she arrived. My brother joined me in the waiting room, and we watched in vain for her arrival. Finally I checked again at the desk and discovered she had not yet been sent down from the nursing home.

I called the home, and they said they were still awaiting the doctor’s order to transport her down. We waited some more. I called the doctor’s office to see what was happening. No one knew. After two hours, she finally landed in the emergency room, where she lay untreated as busy nurses and techs buzzed around the nurses’ station. I could only guess they were waiting for doctor’s orders to proceed.

She continued to cry. We continued to wait. I stood at her side, stroking her hair and murmuring meaningless words of comfort as I choked back angry tears.

No one ever came in the room to care for her.

Something was definitely wrong, and I finally lost my patience. I summoned my nerve and marched out to the nurses’ station. “Is Doctor in the hospital?” I asked the startled nurses.

“Uh, I can try to page him for you,” one of them ventured.

“Fine. I want to talk to him.”

They exchanged nervous glances and had him on the phone in short order.

“This is Opal Soyk’s daughter,” I spit out. “We have been waiting hours in E.R. to have her treated. What the h— is going on?”

My rare foray into profanity surprised even me. But Doctor was up to the fight. “I wasn’t planning to bring her down here. She’s only here because you insisted.”

I was momentarily confused by the direction of the conversation. After all, I was only there because I had been called by the nursing home. What was going on? My mind raced to untangle what had happened as I asked, “Well, what are you planning to do for her?”

One worthless life…

“Nothing. I wasn’t going to treat her. She’s an old woman. Her life is useless, anyway. Why do you want to keep her alive?”

My soul exploded into little shards of red-hot pain as clarity came. He had planned to let her die untreated in her bed at the nursing home.

But this was not a useless old woman. This was my mother.

All my life, my mother had fought for me. Always, unconditionally, and without reservation, Mother had been my champion and protector. It was time to return the honor.

“That is not your decision to make,” I retorted loudly, turning heads at the nurses’ station. “Your job is to treat her.”

Doctor hung up on me.

He never did bother to show up at the emergency room. But shortly afterward, she was admitted to the hospital. With proper treatment, Mother recovered from her illness and lived some time longer before dying peacefully at the nursing home with her family in attendance.

Who Is the Lord of Life and Death?

In the months leading up to her strokes, Mother knew something awful was happening in her body. She kept it mostly secret, but looking back, I realized that she was preparing us for the inevitable. One day she told me that if anything happened to her, she wanted every chance at life. She also said, “I changed your diapers; you can change mine.”

I remembered those words after her strokes, and I was thankful to know her wishes. But I often agonized as I watched her body slowly wither away. I knew, though, that if we hastened her death, it would not be her choice, but ours. That would be neglect. Or worse.

In the long nights during those five years, I reminded God that she had taken Him to be Lord of her life. I asked Him to be Lord of her death.

The last night the nursing home called us, she had fallen into a coma after not responding to medication for a new infection. Her body showed the obvious signs of shutting down. We gathered around her bed, sang all her favorite hymns, and cheered her on. We read Scriptures to her, prayed quietly, and loved her into God’s presence.

My mother taught me how to live. She taught me how to die. And she taught me that God is the Lord of both.

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CaregivingDevotionalsGiveawayWriting

Help Wanted: Kindle Giveaway

 

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No More Living in the Shadows

I’m excited to announce that my newest book, Out from the Shadows,  is now in production through Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas. This new book is a compilation of thirty-one devotionals for caregivers gleaned from my own struggles in the valley of the shadows. The associate editor and I have finished the final edits and it is now in the hands of the proofreader. LPC’s design team is in the process of crafting the cover art for the book. When that’s completed, there will be a page on my website, as well as on Amazon, so you can read more about it.

You have the power to influence others.

As we prepare for the March 2014 launch of the book, I’m in the process of compiling my Influencer list. If you enjoyed my first book and my writing on CMADDICT.com and this website, I need you. For the release of Out from the Shadows, I’m asking for 25 Influencers to help me get the word out. In exchange for your own e-copy of Out from the Shadows, all that’s necessary is to pick 5 things to do from the list below or come up with 5 ideas of your own. Complete those 5 items and you will become a powerful force in helping others find inspiration and comfort within its pages.

The List:

1. Add Out from the Shadows to your Goodreads shelf.

2. If you’re in the Inland Northwest, invite me to come to your church group or book club to speak.

3. Post an honest review of the book on an online bookstore, such as Amazon.

4. While you’re reading the book, post what you like about it on Twitter and/or Facebook.

5. Give me the opportunity to share a guest post on your blog.

6. Pin the book cover (when it’s finished) to a board on Pinterest. Be sure to link back to https://pamthorson.com or http://www.amazon.com/dp/194110312X/

7. If you like the book, tell others about it.

8. Offer to hand out bookmarks to others. I will furnish the bookmarks at your request.

9. Gift a copy to someone you love.

10. Start a discussion of the book on Goodreads.

You Could Win a Kindle Paperwhite E-reader

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If you would like to sign up to be an Influencer in exchange for an e-copy of Out from the Shadows, please email me at: thesong2008@live.com. Please put “Influencer Request” in the email subject line. And make sure you include your promotional ideas along with your mailing address.

I’ll put all your names into the hat for a giveaway of a Kindle Paperwhite e-reader (See it here http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00AWH595M/ref=fs_clw ). A second-place drawing will be held for a signed print copy of either my first book, Song in the Night, or Out from the Shadows (your choice). Winners will be announced during launch week in March.

 

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ChristmasDevotionals

What Is Your Calling?

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Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?”
Then I said, “Here am I. Send me!” -Isaiah 6:8

He came to earth for one reason: to complete the work given Him by His Father. For that work He sacrificed a normal existence, His own human longings, and eventually His life. He suffered daily agony. He died completely alone, forsaken even by the Father He came to serve.

It was His calling.

As we indulge in the season’s festivities, may we never lose sight of the very large footprints in which we follow. Over the ages we have added a lot of glitter and shine to a work of God that was bloody and cold.

Birth is messy. Stables are messy. Dying is messy.

The Savior walked a path filled with danger and hardship. He didn’t have to. But He did, for a world that didn’t even care.

As the year draws to a close, where are you in service to your King? Are you confused because you aren’t sure what you’re supposed to be doing for God? Are you discouraged because your efforts to serve Him seem to have little impact on those around you?

Is the messiness of life too distracting?

He is calling you today, in the midst of the clamor. He wants to speak to you right now. In fact, He is waiting for you.

Go to His Word. Close the door on the world and open up the Bible. You will find the words you need for this hour. If you need encouragement, it is there. If you’re looking for direction, you’ll find it. If you’re hungry for fresh inspiration, He has it.

Wait for Him. Breathe in His life. Don’t move until you see the next step in front of you. Listen for the call. It will come.

May your response be, “Here am I. Send me!”

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ChristmasDevotionals

An Idaho Christmas

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Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.
-Colossians 3:15

Hello, Christmas…

Another Idaho winter has descended upon us.

In my neck of the woods, that means a little snow and a lot of gray days. But leave the river valley in any direction, and you’ll soon be skating on icy roads and snow. On the weekends it also means the occasional pop of birdshot as a Duck Dynasty wannabe wanders around the river road below us looking for an easy dinner.

It’s unnerving to look out the window and see a gun pointed my way.

Ah.

Christmas in Idaho.

It’s five days after Thanksgiving, and I’m feeling inadequate as my exuberant Facebook friends display their freshly decorated trees and trade Christmas recipes online.  In our log cabin, the only hints that Christmas is coming are a lovely poinsettia from my daughter-law, one Christmas card, and the meager pile of unwrapped presents I’ve bought for the annual family celebration.

My husband has hopefully set the decorations out in his shop in what may be a hint. I have yet to even venture out to take a look at them. I usually love Christmas, but this one has been dampened by the suffering of someone I love.

I worry. I fret. I give in to the  gloom.

Then I remember.

This is why He came.

Let heaven and nature sing!

Two thousand years ago, the world was much the same. Except it was a world without hope. This Christmas, we can be ruled by the Christ of peace, the Lord who delivered us from the futility of a life without Him.

In Jesus, Christmas dissolves into Thanks Giving and every day is a celebration. Our hearts are no longer controlled by either minor daily irritations or devastating loss. Until the day we see the magnitude of His victory, we ride out the highs and lows and choose to rejoice.

He rules the earth. Let heaven and nature sing: Joy to the world.

Maybe I should take a look at those decorations.

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DevotionalsHoly Spirit

What’s He Here For?

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In the last two weeks we have looked at the person we call the Holy Spirit. I love talking about God, but I’m especially intrigued with the third person of the Trinity.

The three persons of the Trinity are enigmatic, cloaked in a mantle of mystery slowly pulled back through the ages to reveal the face of God. When we learn about Father God, we incorporate what we know about Him from our experiences with out earthly fathers. His Son, Jesus Christ, is the central figure of the gospels, painting a vivid picture of the Deliverer.

The Spirit, on the other hand, often remains in the background. Though equal in power to the others, He points humanity upward to them instead of drawing attention to Himself.  In a world clamoring “Look at me! Look at me,” He always inspires us to look heavenward.

The fact that He consents to live inside the cracked clay we call home never ceases to amaze me.

How do we wrap our minds around a Being who can be everywhere at once, whose power caused the universe to spring to life, who brought back the Savior Himself from the dead? How do we live with such a Being inside us? It’s a story more radical than anything dreamt up by Hollywood.

God in You, the Hope of Glory

In His person, the Holy Spirit is totally God. In His work and form, He functions as the “breath” of God. As such, He has a vital job to accomplish on earth:

  • He convicts us of sin. John 16:8

Before we can come to Him, we first must realize our need. It is the Spirit’s job to make us understand how we’ve sinned against God and our need of a Deliverer. He’s the one who makes us feel guilty when we’ve done wrong.

  • He frees us. 2 Corinthians 3:17

The Spirit is the One who breaks the chains of sin and walks us into liberty.

  • He sanctifies and sets us apart as His own. 1 Peter 1:2

When we accept our need for God and receive the cleansing sacrifice made by Jesus, the Holy Spirit comes to live in our bodies. His indwelling sets us apart as His own and begins the lifelong process of preparing us for eternity.

  • He transforms us. 2 Corinthians 3:18

When we become His, we are changed by the force of the same creative power that brought the universe into being.

  • He intercedes for us. Romans 8:26

In our weakness, we often don’t even know ourselves how to pray for what we need. The Spirit steps in, bringing us to the throne of God. Romans 8:26 is often used for speaking in tongues, but the Scripture says that this intercession is “too deep for words.” It is the place where our spirit connects with His in a cry for help.

  • He rebukes those who mock Him. Acts 5:9-11

The Spirit upholds the holiness of the Lord. He will not be mocked and must be treated with respect.

  • He empowers us for His work. John 7:37-38; 16:7; 1 Corinthians 2:3-5; Galatians 5:25

We can’t live a holy life on our own. Our best intentions and efforts can’t come close to pleasing God. We fall on our face every time. It’s His power that accomplishes what we can only long for without Him.

  • He directs us and gives us joy in the journey. Matthew 4:1; John 16:13; Luke 10:21; Acts 16:7

It’s not just about getting through this life. Jesus promised us abundance. When His Spirit is free to work within us, He fill us with joy. This is the incomprehensible place of peace Jesus’ disciples encounter through the darkest days of their lives. It rises above trials and smiles at the future.

  • He provides for our every need. Philippians 1:29

He is the great provider. In His care, every need we have will be met.

  • He reveals the future when necessary. Luke 2:26; Acts 1:16

Because He is all-knowing, nothing surprises Him. When it is necessary, He will reveal to His people future events. Usually, though, He counts on us to trust Him for our future.

This exquisite being, who dwelt in eternity in the highest heaven, has consented – even yearned- to live with us in our frail homes of flesh. He longs to be our protector and Lord. Only a mighty God could be powerful enough to be so tender, or strong enough to live with such weakness.

No wonder they call Him the Comforter.

 

Baptism photo courtesy Erik Thorson/ copyright 2013

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Devotionals

What’s in YOUR Heart?

 

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And I will give them one heart, and put a new spirit within them.
And I will take the heart of stone out of their flesh and give them a heart of flesh.
-Ezekiel 11:19

Our Heart, the Deepest Place

Anyone who’s taken even freshman biology can probably remember what’s in our hearts: mostly blood, muscle, chambers, and valves. But the heart is also a euphemism for the place where our innermost man lives. It’s the seat of our emotions and the chamber of our most secret desires. The Hebrew word for heart in the Old Testament also denotes the deepest place inside us, the room we rarely reveal to others.

It’s the place we rarely unveil even to ourselves.

The things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man.
For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders.
-Matthew 15:18-19

The heart is the real us. That can be frightening if we’re honest enough to take a good look inside. It’s so scary we often craft a careful wall of excuses and religious piety to cover our real motives. We may fool ourselves and others, but there is One from whom we can never hide.

The heart is more deceitful than all else
And is desperately sick;
Who can understand it?
I, the LORD, search the heart.
-Jeremiah 17:9-10

It’s a sobering thing to know God searches my heart. I know what’s in there. I don’t even like me when I look inside. It is beyond me that God, knowing what my heart clutches within its walls, still pursues me to gain that fickle devil for His own. He knows the state of my inner man, and He wants me anyway.

For God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance,
but the LORD looks at the heart.
– 1 Samuel 16:7

Throughout history, God has always reached for the heart of His creation. The Bible tells us:

For God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.
– 1 Samuel 16:7

God wants our whole hearts – dirt, pain, and all. He loves us, not for what we give or do, but for what we are to Him. When we respond to this love and surrender to Him, He goes to work. He alone can cleanse, purify, and restore us.

It’s this work that changes from the inside out. It’s not about reforming ourselves. That will never happen. It it were about doing everything right, none of us could stand.

Even God’s beloved King David committed two terrible sins: adultery and murder. Although he was severely disciplined for his actions, God later called him a man after His own heart.

How could that be?

With All Your Heart

David was flawed, to be sure. But he ran after God with all that within him. When he fell, he cried out for forgiveness. He sought to be reconciled to God. He surrendered his life to his King.

Jesus told humanity:

YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD GOD WITH ALL YOUR
HEART,
AND WITH ALL YOUR
SOUL,
AND WITH ALL YOUR
MIND.
This is the great and foremost commandment.
-Matthew 22:37-38

This is the great commandment. If we love Him with all that is within us, He will do the rest.

Although David couldn’t trust his own heart, he could entrust it to a faithful Father. David came to understand this one thing: It’s about what’s in our hearts.

It’s about what’s in His.

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Devotionals

What They Didn’t Tell Us

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Until our nineteen-year-old son broke his neck in a fall in the summer of 1997, we knew little about spinal cord injuries. His break was very high, and the chance of his survival was bleak. Since he was injured during a trip to Canada and we live in the United States, it was a difficult journey to join him at the hospital. When we were able to get to his bedside, we found him totally paralyzed from the neck down and attached to life support.

Grim-faced doctors told us the many challenges Kevin faced:

  • He would never breathe or move again below his neck or possibly his shoulders.
  • He would need round-the-clock care.
  • He would certainly suffer from a host of complications such as pneumonia, blood clots, and urinary tract infections.
  • He could never live at home again. He couldn’t even return to the United States because no airline would accept him in his condition, no doctor would sign to receive him, no medical team would accompany him on the flight, and the cost to fly him home would be prohibitive.
  • He could not stay in Canada.

For our son, and for us, the situation seemed hopeless. One doctor was angry when we resisted a push for euthanasia.

What most of the doctors didn’t tell us was that their predictions weren’t written in stone. Yes, Kevin did suffer from pneumonia in the beginning weeks. Urinary tract infections have been a continuing challenge for Kevin. And yes, he needs round-the-clock care.

But none of the rest of it happened.

People, churches, and organizations in Canada soon learned of his injuries and rallied to his cause. Within a week, Kevin was flown back to the United States in a chartered Lear jet, accompanied by a volunteer medical team – the entire cost paid by donations.

He was received into a hospital close to home and later released to a rehabilitation hospital.

As his body came out of spinal shock, he began to regain function and feeling, stunning the doctors and therapists. This healing would continue for several years.

What no one told us was that one day Kevin would breathe again on his own, walk with help, and return home to rebuild his life. Although he remains mostly disabled, he has movement and feeling in most of his body. He only uses the ventilator at night to sleep.

In the years since his injury, he has built a computer 3-D graphics studio with his brother and founded a popular Christian music website. He lives each day with faith and trust and without complaint.

No one told us that caring for him would bring us such joy. No one explained how much his life would enrich us, or how much we would learn about courage in the process. Certainly these years have been hard. But when I see Kevin laughing and chasing his nieces around in his wheelchair, or taking his dog for a walk, or working with press agents and music companies and complicated animation software, I am reminded of all the beauty they never told me to expect.

They never told us to have hope.

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