fighting fear – Pam Thorson

For the past three weeks, Anita Greening and her family have been sharing their journey through a bewildering series of setbacks and how they have leaned on God during this time. In this last part, Anita shares how she has come to find their “new normal” and the wonderful news she has just received.

How have you learned to fight the fear and despair that comes with a serious illness?

When I felt that fear and pain coming my way, I made a conscious decision to think on something else. I would open the bible, turn on some uplifting music, or just say out loud, “No, I will not think on that today!”

The cancer journey has been much harder on my family in many ways than it has been on me. The emotional aspect of it for them was very difficult. Seeing me sick and not able to do the things I had always done was hard for them. The uncertainty they felt about the future and about my future was difficult for them, too.

For me, other than the physical effects from cancer and the chemo, I wasn’t too concerned about it. I always believed and confessed that cancer died 2000 years ago on the cross of Christ, and I believed that God wasn’t finished with my life on earth. I felt sick, exhausted, and in pain, but I haven’t been too concerned about whether or not I would be well again. I just truly believed I would be.

For me, the hardest struggle has been financially. It’s funny how I can trust God in some areas and struggle to trust in others, as if God would say to me, “All right, I can take care of this for you, but I won’t help you with that problem.” It sounds silly, but I believed God would take care of the cancer, but I have struggled with the idea of Him taking care of the financial aspect. My biggest concern throughout my journey has been the financial one. I prayed and prayed for God to removed this heavy burden from our backs, and the more I prayed, the harder things became financially. I would awaken in pain and nausea, but the all-engulfing problem to me was our financial difficulties.

It was a long road for me to learn to trust God in this area. It hasn’t been easy, but at this point I am able to step out there and just tell my Heavenly Father what we need and trust Him with the answer–even when the bills pile up or go unpaid month after month. God has been persistent through our journey to move us to a deeper level of faith and trust in Him, to teach us to be content with what we have, to help us face our fears and overcome them through Him, and to bring us to a place of peace in our “new” normal way of life.

He has never let go of us as He walked with us through the valley of the shadow.

That is so beautiful, Anita. What would you tell someone else who is enduring a similar trial right now?

I would tell them emphatically that no matter what, they can make it! If they will yield to God and allow God to have His way, He will bring them through their situation. I would tell them to never, ever give up. Keep going, keep believing, and know that God is there for them. He loves them deeply. I would honestly tell them it will be painful, it will hurt. It will be very difficult but through it all, God will never let them go. Be honest with God. He can handle your honesty. Be honest with others. Let others know when you need help, when you need prayer, or when you just want to be alone.

You have an update on your condition. Please share it with us.

I had a CT scan that was clear. There was no more evidence of cancer. The oncologist said the CT didn’t show microscopic cancer cells, and therefore I would need to continue chemo for the next few months. Afterward, I will be having maintenance chemo for another few months to help ensure that the cancer will not return.

Hannah has started at a diagnostic clinic at UAMS. She had her first appointments in August and September. We are hopeful to find a diagnosis for her and are believing God for health for her, as well.

Thanks for sharing your family’s story with such honesty. It has taken great courage to walk the path you have with faith. If people want to keep in touch or help out with your expenses, how can they contact you?

This is our family’s donation page: http://www.gofundme.com/thegreeningfamily

My Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/AnitaK316

Jordan’s YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/Jordan1617

Hannah’s YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/HannahNoelle2158

Jordan on CMADDICT: http://www.cmaddict.com/article_page.php?article_id=438

Fear knocked at the door. Faith answered. No one was there. – Unknown

Fear’s been knocking at the door a lot. Events over which I have no control have hounded me relentlessly this past year, leaving me to feel as if I am bobbing helplessly along in a swift river toward a massive waterfall – something like Bogey and Kate in African Queen. Except I have the drama without the glamour. Each day I have grimly pushed through the day’s challenges as I have tried to ignore the persistent pounding on my spirit’s door by fear.

Some days I totally give in to it, which was what happened this week. I discovered I had a nasty infection, followed by bad reactions to each of the two different antibiotics prescribed by my doctor. The one last night was particularly frightening. I debated about going to ER but settled instead on going to bed to wait out the night. My family prayed for me, released me from my share of the caregiving duties, and watched protectively as I snuggled under the comfort of my new throw (a Pier One Valentine’s gift from my dear husband) and tried to shut my eyes against the raging storm in my body.

But the greater storm was the one in my spirit. The physical pounding in my heart echoed the fear that emanated from behind the door of the unknown as it rattled the doorknob and threatened to jump out at me at any moment.

Just then, my husband came up bearing a small container of pure, extra-virgin olive oil from the kitchen. He slipped to my side and offered to anoint me as he prayed for me. I gladly accepted. He poured a bit out and touched it to my forehead as he prayed a simple but heartfelt prayer for healing. It was nothing grandiose or commanding – just a request to his God on behalf of his beloved.

The physical storm did not immediately stop, but the spiritual one subsided as that incomprehensible peace only the Spirit can give washed over me. My husband’s intercession was the reminder I needed that God is always in control. It was his faith going to the door for me and opening it to find nothing on the other side.

This morning I am much better. As I recuperate and rest on this Sunday morning, I think of the other doors and storms in my life and am reminded that our struggle is truly not a physical one, but one against the “flaming missiles of the evil one” (Eph. 6:16). In this age of sophistication and cynicism, I must never forget I do not war with what I see, but with the “spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places” (Eph. 6:12). For those wars in our lives, we must put on the whole armor of God and walk in complete fearlessness, never forgetting we serve a big God who is alive, well, and fully in charge.

God is real; fear is the shadow.

Today may God strengthen and encourage you for whatever doors you face. As you surround yourself with His armor, my prayer is He will grant us all the courage to open those doors we face and dispel our fears. Who knows what opportunities for God’s service and glory lie behind them?

Not to fear is the armor. –Ulrich Zwingli

For God has not given us a spirit of fear,
but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV

Tag: fighting fear

Unstoppable: The Greening Family, Part 4 -A New Normal

How have you learned to fight the fear and despair that comes with a serious illness?

That is so beautiful, Anita. What would you tell someone else who is enduring a similar trial right now?

You have an update on your condition. Please share it with us.

Thanks for sharing your family’s story with such honesty. It has taken great courage to walk the path you have with faith. If people want to keep in touch or help out with your expenses, how can they contact you?

When Fear Is at the Door